I Love You, But I Hate You, I'm Stuck On You
by SIRIUSly UnSuRe
Summary: It is the first day back, and James finds a page of Lily’s diary lying around, and knows how she feels about him. This is their last year at Hogwarts. There are make-ups and lots of break-ups. Add in some fluff, hate, and voila, you’ve got a LJ story
1. Lily's Poem

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. 

**A/N:** I know this has been done a lot before, but I love these kinds of stories…and my friend, who is helping me write this has like weird ideas…Anywho, please review! 

**Summary**: It is the first day back, and James finds this page of Lily's diary lying around, and knows how she feels about him. This is their last year at Hogwarts. There are make-ups and lots of break-ups. Loads of fluff too. Add in some hate, and voila, you've got a LJ story! And its all from Lily's point of view. 

**Rating**: PG-13 for swearing 

~*~***I love you but I hate you, I'm stuck on you***~*~

~*~***Chapter One: Lily's Poem***~*~****

I hate the way you say my name

            Pssh. You call me "Evans"…it's LILY. Lily. Call me Lily. Calling me "Evans" is a great way to make me mad. Is that why you do it? 

And I hate the way you make your hair 

            Yeah right. Making your hair? More like rumpling it, thinking it makes you so cool. Well, reality check. It doesn't. I mean, your hair is untidy anyways, just leave it that way. Or else shave your head bald. I remember trying to do that to you in fifth year. 

I hate the way you ride your broom

            That damn broom! The Nimbus 500, is it? The way you zoom along, even riding your broom in corridors! And no teacher ever catches you! And nicking that snitch! Stealing school property! I'm amazed your broom can hold up your big head!

I hate it when you stare 

            Its not just the staring, it's the place where you stare! I do have a brain, Potter. A brain I don't waste, like you, on pranks and tricks, or making Snape's life miserable…so I know where you stare. So stop. If you stared because you liked me, or thought I was nice, its all good. But if you like my curves…just stop.

I hate your big fat combat boots [LOL iono where my friend got this from…combat boots???

            Your boots. What are you, a soldier? You're not even a Muggle! Where on earth did you buy those boots from? You wear shorts. And boots. Shorts and boots. You scare me, Potter. Fashion police do exist. Do you even take those boots off before you go to bed?

And the way you read my mind

            How do you always know what I'm thinking? You don't even take Divination! You always say what I am thinking. At least you can't read my feelings…can you?  

I hate you so much it makes me sick…

It even makes me rhyme

            I cannot even write an essay, yet I am rhyming. Because of you. And that's not a good thing. You make me sick.

I hate the way you're always right

            And with "always", I mean always. In every class, in every discussion, no matter when I talk to you, it's always you that's right. Seems you know everything one can know. About everything. Do you know how people feel after even a short time of talking to you? They feel depressed, become unsure of themselves and their own opinion and, a little later, they become annoyed and angry and think things like, "can't this boy ever be wrong? It's no fun talking to you. You're always right and you know it. Self-centered jerk.

I hate it when you lie.

            When you lie…its so obvious. Even I am better than you at lying. You bite your nails, don't look at your opponents eyes, and you get so red. It's only trivial things that you lie about. I mean, it might make it easier to accept if at least you'd lie not to hurt others feelings or something similar; but no, you lie because it's sometimes more comfortable for you to lie than to tell the truth. Did you ever consider the idea that your lies might have bad consequences for other people, who are innocent in all this, while you are too cowardly to admit whatever you did? Probably not, you complete buffoon.

I hate it when you make me laugh

            Yes. You are actually funny, Potter. No matter how hard I try not to laugh, I do. And sometimes its not only at you, but with you. And you do indeed have the most contagious laugh. Even a contagious smile. In fourth year, I thought that lop-sided smile was kinda cute… dammit!

And even worse when you make me cry 

            It's true. Me, the tough Lily Evans has cried. Not when she got sent to St Mungo's when her head was practically cut in half, but when James Potter made fun of her. I'm not that tough after all. Not as tough as you, at least. Of course, in front of you, I laugh along with the others, but when I'm alone, I cry myself to sleep about it.

I hate it when you're not around 

            When you are around, the sun is always shining. I remember whenever we have a Quidditch match and you get injured and are in the hospital wing, even if we win, the atmosphere is so gloomy. Even the weather mourns your injury- it is always cloudy. Somehow I feel that, no matter how "cool" and "funny" you are on the outside, you are someone to rely on. I know I can trust you. I know you would help me if I was in danger and you'd probably risk your life for me, although you don't know me too well. And you would not just rescue me if I was in danger, you would do that for anyone. Everyone. Maybe even Snape.

And the fact you did not write 

            Despite the fact we are not close, ever since first year, we always wrote over the summer. Why didn't you write this year? I wrote to you, twice. And you never responded. I hate you for that. I lay in bed every night thinking "well, Potter might respond today, if he doesn't, I think I should Apparate over to his house…maybe something is wrong…". But I don't know where you live. No one does, except Remus, Sirius, and Peter. And I would never ask them for your address. And then I find out you never wrote because you never had time. So what were you doing? Looking in the mirror? Practicing Quidditch?

But most of all I hate the way 

That I don't hate you.

Not even close

Not even a little bit

Not even at all.

            There it is. A confession in black and white. I never hated you, no matter how hard I tried. I love you but I hate you…I am stuck on you. Maybe this year, I'll say yes to you asking me out. Not maybe…I will. I love you, James Potter. I always have, still do, and always will. I hope you haven't given up on me, and I will redeem myself to you. I love you, you arrogant, bullying toe-rag. Perhaps I'll give you this poem. 

 _____________________________________________________________

            James found this paper lying on the floor of the Gryffindor Common Room. His heart beating fast, he ran up to the girls dorm, and asked to speak to Lily privately.

A/N: Well? Be a responsible reader and please review! 


	2. You've Changed

Disclaimer: I own nothingness.

Chapter Two: 

            James knocked on the girls dormitory door. How he could get up there was beyond Lily. "Err…can I speak to Lily", said James.

            James looked around. In front of him was Elizabeth Cooney, Lily's best friend. She had changed since sixth year. She used to be  punkish, white, and chubby. Now she was lean, had a tan, and she had lost her gothic look. 

            "Why do you wanna see Lily", questioned Elizabeth.

            "It's a free country, babe. I like your new look." James grinned at Elizabeth. They had gone out quite a few times. 

            "Eat dung, Potter." 

            "No…it's Head-Girl, Head-Boy business. Aren't you gonna congratulate me on becoming Head-Boy, cutie?"

            And she slammed the door in James face, leaving him no choice but to leave. He looked at the poem Lily wrote again. She loved him. _She_ loved him. She loved _him_. She loved him! James feet carried him to his best friend, Sirius Black, and his two closest friends, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.

            "Look at this", James beamed, "she loves me!"

            When everyone was done reading, they stared at James, congratulated him, and questioned him.

            "So, you lucky stag, what did you say to her?"

            "Nothing, yet." James was grinning so wide, his face felt numb. 

            "What? When did you see this?"

            "Where did you find it?"

            "Does she know you have it?"

            "Whoa, dudes, chill! I saw this ten minutes ago, it was in the near the Portrait of the Fat Lady, it's a page of her diary that fell out, and no, she doesn't know I have it."

            The guys were all hooting and cat-calling James. Little did they know Lily had walked into the Common Room, with Elizabeth and her three other friends, Vanessa King, Emma Wish, and Samantha Waters. (I suck at making names…). James eyed them happily. Vanessa looked the same as last year: cheerful, and full of smiles. Emma had gotten her long, black hair cut and bleached. Samantha, the tomb-boy of the group, had put on some make-up and was giggling non-stop. When James saw Lily, though, his heart flew to Heaven and back. She had changed the most. 

            Lily Evans had on a tank top that showed her…cleavage. Last year she had never even had the uppermost button of her shirts unbuttoned. Now she was showing her…cleavage? James stared. She was wearing a skirt. A short skirt. Lily had only rarely been seen with a skirt and even when she was wearing a long one, she always had leggings underneath the skirt. James stared. He liked her legs. Lily's braces had been removed, and her sparkly white teeth were so…white and straight. But what James really liked about Lily was her hair. It was so red. Not ugly red, like Molly Weasley's, but pretty red. It glowed, like her smile. It was so shiny. So flippy. There had been a few times were James was close enough to smell Lily's hair…it smelled like flowers. It smelled like lily flowers. 

            "The ELVES have arrived!" That was what Lily and her friends called themselves. The ELVES. That stood for Emma, Lily, Vanessa, Elizabeth, and Samantha. When people had questioned them about this queer acronym, they had responded, "Well, we're al short, like elves, we all like fairy tales, we're cute, like elves, and we just like elves, okay?"  James had made fun of Lily at that time, calling her the Elfish Queen, since she had started that group, and was the shortest there. 

            "Elfish Queen…can I have a moment alone?" James's stomach started to flop. What was he supposed to say?

            "Say it here, Potter. Can't be anything important." Lily glared at James. __

            "Alright. You dropped this, near the Fat Lady. I supposed, after reading it intently, that you might want it back." James handed Lily the paper that was still crumpled in his hand.

            Lily gasped. 

            "And I want you to know, yes, I still love you."

            Lily flushed red. Oh why had I left that paper there? Damned Potter just had to pick it up! Dammit!  Lily covered her bright red cheeks with her hands.

            "Don't cover your cheeks. It looks cute when your cheeks match your hair."

            Smirking, Lily's and James's friends left them alone.

            "So. Where shall we start." James looked questionably at Lily. 

            "Here." She spoke at last. Then grabbed him around his waist, and kissed him. Hard. 

            James lost himself in the kiss. His hands were running everywhere. Though Lily's hair, and all over her incredibly curved body. 

            After a long, wet, tongue-involved kiss, Lily broke away. 

            "James…-"

            "Sshhh, love. I've waited for so long." And so they walked, arm-in-arm, to the Great Hall for dinner.

            Lily kept kissing James on the way.

            _Why is she doing this? She's acting so…slutty…_James was shocked at Lily's aggressive side.__

            Lily kissed him again. People in the Great Hall clapped and cheered.

            "I love you, Evans."

            "I love you too, Potter. This is gonna be one hell of a year."

A/N: Be a responsible reader and review! …This chapter was cheesy, wasn't it? I wanna see Tupac Resurrected ! 


	3. Bridal Shower

Disclaimer: I own nothingness. The characters belong to *drum roll* JKR! The plot belongs to Phyllis Naylor!

A/N: Sorry I took so long to update! I hope this chapter was worth the wait for all of you! And yes, I know I have a nasty mind. =]

Chapter Three: Bridal Shower

            Lily was in shock. Some poor man was about to marry her twenty-year old, horse-faced, bossy sister Petunia. Lily decided she would warn that poor, unfortunate man. Lily was leaving that night at 10 PM, so she could reach her home at 4 Pivet Drive two days early. Lily knew nothing about weddings, but she knew enough to know that she should be more to Petunia than just a bridesmaid. Still, she wouldn't complain. 

            When Lily arrived home the next day, she went to Petunia's bridal shower –lingerie shower to be more exact. 

            "Lily! Where have you been? You are … seventeen? Oh! Eighteen! Where have you been all these years! Last time I saw you, you were ten!" Betsy said. Betsy had been Lily's best friend. 

            "My parents sent me to a boarding school just outside London." This was the answer Lily always gave to questions about her past. 

            "Oh…well, aren't you glad about Petunia!"

            "Sure…"

            Everyone was drinking coffee, and a pretty woman with a clipboard and long, red nails spoke. "Welcome, everyone! I'm Joan, and the only rule today is to have fun. I am gonna help you all make your wildest fantasies come true." Joan looked at Petunia in particular and smiled. Everybody laughed. "First, I would like to wish Petunia a wonderful marriage with Vernon Dursley."

            Lily tried to think if she knew and Vernon…but she couldn't recall. 

            Joan spoke again ."As you all know, this is a different kind of shower in which Petty will select, and maybe model, the lingerie of her choice."

            "Now wait a minute!" cried Petunia. People hooted.

            Lily tried to picture her bony sister in a bikini. It didn't click.

            "But before we ask Petty about her fiancé, we will take a little test. There are no wrong answers…just have some fun!"

            As soon as people got their sheets, they started laughing. When Joan handed Lily one, she read "Test your Sensuality". All over the rooms there were murmurs and giggles. Lily looked at the questions:

                        1. Have you ever worn a flower in your hair? 10 points

                        2. Are you wearing matching a matching bra and panties? 10 points

                        3. Have you ever had a bodily experience while swimming? 15 points

            Lily only had ten points so far…for wearing a lily in her hair on her birthday.

                        4. Have you mentally undressed a stranger? 20 points

                        5. Have you ever removed any lingerie during a meal? 10 points

            "This is a riot!" said Petunia.

            "Boy, am I glad my mother's not here!" someone muttered, and it got a laugh.

                        6. Have you ever taken a feather and started at his nose and ended at his toes? 25 points

            Lily's face was bright red. She had no idea people did this stuff. She was still a virgin…so she wouldn't know.

                        7. Have you ever wrapped yourself up for a male? 20 points

                        8. Have you ever given a massage to a member of the male gender? 20 points

                        9. Have you ever made love anywhere besides the bedroom? 15 points          

                        10. Have you ever used whipping cream for anything besides dessert? 25 points

            Lily was marveling at the fact that people wrapped themselves up, and then she imagined herself standing naked covered in whipped cream in the dining room. She sucked in her breath.

            "Look at Lily!" somebody said. "Look at her blush!"

            "Oh, Lily! Are you still a virgin?" Petunia laughed at her.

            Lily desperately tried to come up with her points for the test. 10 for the flower. Twenty for thinking what James looks like in the shower; that isn't mentally undressing a stranger, but she would fudge a little on that. Ten points for massaging her father, and ten points for taking off her socks during dinner (socks count at underwear, don't they?). 

            Everyone went around the room, telling their scores. One hundred twenty, one hundred five, ninety-five, one-ten, and then they got to Lily. She thought of lying, but what if they all had to turn in their sheets?

            "Sixty" Lily said, and every one laughed.

            "It's okay, baby sister. We were all virgins once too" Petunia said to Lily. More laughter.

            Lily felt very self-conscious. But she didn't have to go all the way to be the great person she was. 

            Everyone tried on lingerie. Petunia wore a long, slinky gown with a long slit up the side. She looked like a whore. Lily was forced to wear a teddy called "Jungle Fever". It was a nylon leopard-skin print, and it had a paw over each breast and another near the crotch. Petunia looked to kill, but Lily couldn't see why. Who on earth would wanna dress like this? Joan gave Lily this teddy free of charge. 

**Lily's point of view**

            The next day at the wedding, I finally got to see the groom. Vernon Dursley. He was a beefy man with a gigantic mustache. I wondered what it felt like when you kissed a guy with a mustache. How did all that hair taste, if it went in your mouth? Petunia, in her pure white dress, kissed Vernon. I shuddered. 

            We did all the normal wedding stuff…then we danced. I had no one to dance with. Then, I saw James. Astonished, I ran over to him, tripping over my flower-printed skirt. 

            "Hey babe! Dumbledore let me pass. I missed ya." I kissed him. Brushing him off, then, I saw what he was wearing. The first and only time I had seen him in a tie. Damn, did he look fine! The starched cuffs, the flower in his pocket…his half smile! I loved this man. We danced. 

**James' point of view**

            What was it with Lily? She's never like this! Why the hell is she acting so…slutty? She used to be so innocent and naive…now she was so…slutty! 

            "Hey…Lil…can I talk to you…outside?"

            "Sure James, hun!" _Wtf? _James _hun_? 

            I said it straight out. "Why are you acting so slutty?"

            Lily stared at me. "Excuse me?"

            "You. Are. Acting. Like. A. Slut. Why?"

            "What the hell are you talking about James?"

            "YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A FRIKKIN SLUT! THE WAY YOU TALK, THE WAY YOU WINK WHEN YOU SEE, THE WAY YOU DRESS, THE WAY YOU KISS ME! YOU'RE A SLUT, LILY EVANS! A SLUT!"

            Lily's eyes were starting to turn red. Her sparkly green eyes looked like they were on fire. Her rosy cheeks flushed. Her smile turned into a snarl.

            "SLUT MY ASS! YOU THINK _I_ AM A SLUT? LOOK AT YOU, POTTER! SLEEPING WITH A DIFFERENT WOMAN EVERY NIGHT! I AM AMAZED YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO SAY THAT TO MY FACE!"

            "Lily…listen…calm down okay? I'm sorry…but you've totally changed. You're not the Lily I loved…you're not even the Lily I _liked_. I don't even know who you are now." 

            "I don't know what you're talking about, Potter."

            "Yes, you do. Why are you acting like this?"

            "I AM JUST ACTING THE WAY YOU ALWAYS WANTED ME TO ACT! I SUPPOSED IF YOU LIKED _EMMA _DRESSING IN MINI SKIRTS, YOU' D LIKE ME THAT WAY! IF YOU LIKE _SAMANTHA_ WINKING AT YOU, I SUPPOSE THAT WAS WHAT YOU WANTED ME TO BE! IF YOU LIKED ARABELLA KISSING YOU LIKE A HORNY BITCH, I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME THAT WAY! I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVER CHANGED JUST TO PLEASE YOU, POTTER! NOW I SEE I WAS WRONG!" And then she left.

            I gazed after her, amazed. When did I ever tell Lily I wanted her to act that way? I loved for what she was. _Damn. Where the hell did she go?_ _I needa find her._

A/N: You like? Tell me so and review! The more reviews, the faster I update! 


	4. Got HurtTwice

Disclaimer: I own nothingness. 

A/N: OMG! I have not updated** forever! **Sorry about that…Okay well the name of this chapter is "Got Hurt…Twice" because…well…people get hurt.. Twice. Duh. On with the story! 

Chapter 4: Got Hurt…Twice

            Lily had left the wedding and gone home. When her parents arrived (Petunia was going to live with Vernon now), she made an excuse to leave the house. _What's the point of life? I cannot believe James. How dare he call me…a slut! _

            Lily, depressed and miserable, left for Hogwarts. She didn't want to see James again, but Dumbledore had only given her three days off. She needed to resume her work as Head Girl…but James was Head Boy…

            Arriving at Hogwarts, Lily was pleased to see that James was trying just as hard to ignore Lily as she was to ignore him. But it wasn't working. They just ran into each other everywhere. And their friends didn't help. They wanted to know why the two weren't talking. 

            Late one night, when Lily was asleep in her Head Girl Dorm, she heard a slight panting sound. Awakening, she saw James at the doorway, glared at him, and tried to fall asleep.

            "No! Lily, please don't sleep yet…I need your help…………………please." James looked sadly at Lily.

            "Drop dead, Potter."

            "Lily…please. I'm begging you…"

            "This better be important, Potter."

            "Lily…I need you to get Sirius and Remus…maybe Peter too."

            "Why?"

            "Lily, please………just do it."

            "No." And Lily got back into bed.

            "Lily…I'm sorry about the other day…when I called you a…you know…"

            "Whatever. I'm sleeping, Potter."

            "Lily…please. Go get Sirius…"

            "Tell me why, and maybe I will." 

            James looked unhappily at Lily. Lily stared back.

            "Okay, I'll tell you. You already know about Remus being a werewolf, right?" Lily nodded. She had figured that out in fifth year. "Okay, well, you don't know about us being Animungus. Sirius, Peter, and I can all become Animungus. I got bitten by the werewolf form of Remus…and I'm hurt. Now will ya please go get Sirius and Peter and Remus?"

            Lily almost fainted. "Oh, yes, James! No…wait! Shouldn't I get Dumbledore, or Madam –

            "NO! You can't tell anyone! I just told you because…I trust you…I love you." James whispered these words, and fell unconscious.

            Lily thought she would faint herself, but she ran towards the common room, and hoped there was a way for her to get into the boys dorm and get Sirius. However, Sirius and Remus were already in the Common Room.

            "SIRIUS! REMUS! Oh my gosh…James…he's hurt…you bit him…he's fainted…," Lily choked.

            Running towards the joined Head Girl/Head Boy room, Remus performed some very complicated wand-works, and James awoke. Sirius magically moved James from the floor onto his bed.

            "Gawd, James, why didn't you tell us before you were hurt? Bloody fool…so where does it hurt?"

            "Everywhere…," groaned James. "He bit my leg…my right leg…"

            Remus looked very ashamed. Lily comforted him. Sirius patched James up. Muttering words of thanks, James closed his eyes, and Sirius and Remus left. 

            Lily slowly got into her bed, and sighed. She sighed loud. (A/N: I always do that! I love to sigh!) She sighed a little too loud. James twitched, and opened his eyes. 

            "James…I love you…"

            "Aw, shut it, Evans, and get some sleep." James smiled at Lily, trudged over to her bed, and sat down on it.

            "Oh, James, what are you doing?"

            "What am I doing? Iono…some girl." 

            Lily giggled. _He's so adorable! Look at those eyes…they're so deep…you can get lost in them…he's cute, yet handsome…childish, yet so mature. I love this man. _

            James smiled at Lily. _She's so cute! I love her dimples…they're like dimples in cream. And her hair…I love her hair…I love her…_

            They talked. All night. Lily loved the silly, flippant comments James made, and James loved seeing Lily laugh at his jokes. 

**Next Day**

            James and Lily's happiness was to be short lived. At breakfast, Katie had been staring at James and Lily. How she despised that Lily Evans. _I hate her…she's fat,…what does my James see in her? I'll make her suffer…_

            Katie had a plan that she shared with her friend—more like her lackey—Wendy. Katie would write a fake love note to James, and she would make sure Lily was the_ only_ one who saw it.  This is what it said:

            _To my Dearest, Beloved James,_

_                        That date we had was so much fun. I especially enjoyed the snogging part ;)…let's have another date tonight. You told me so much about that complete slut, Lily Evans…tell me more about her. I'm glad you broke up with her. No one likes her. Sirius told me that she cries all the time about you…she's so controlling! Well, let's snog tonight. I'll meet you in the Astronomy Tower at midnight. _

_                                    Love, _

_                                                Your Girlfriend, _

_                                                            Katie ;)_

            Katie had put this on the Head Girl Chair. Luckily, James didn't see it. Unfortunately, Emma, Elizabeth, Vanessa, and Samantha saw it when they were waiting for Lily.

            "What do we do?"

            "We can't show Lily, she'll be heartbroken!"

            "I know, but she MUST know…she's flirting with James RIGHT now!"

            Lily walked in. Her friends showed her the letter. In tears, Lily ran out the dorm before anyone could say anything, so her friends raced after her. But, they didn't know the password to the Head Girl/Head Boy room…so Lily was in there alone. She would be late for class…they had potions first thing. Professor Armadillo would love to take points away from Gryffindor. 

            Cluelessly, James went inside the dorm, in which Lily was sobbing uncontrollably. 

            'Err…Lils?"

            "I don't wanna hear it, you bastard! Read this, and then look me in the eye and tell me that you're happy now!"

            James read the fake not in silence. Lily eyed him angrily. 

            _I cannot believe him! …I thought he changed. I really did._

            "Lily…I don't know why Katie wrote me this…I never went out with her."

            "James…please don't lie. Don't you think you've hurt me enough?"

            "I never went out with her, dammit!"

            "Yeah…right. Why would she make that up, then. It's either you lying, or her."

            "Lily! How dare you…are you saying you don't believe me?" James yelled at her angrily.

            "Yes, I was implying that," Lily said, just as fiercely. She was starting to cry again.

            "Lily…please—"

            "No! Leave me the hell alone!"

            "We need to get to class, Lily…"

            Lily ran out the dorm, with a hurt James running after her.

**in class**

            James sat next to Lily. True, Professor Armadillo took 30 points away from Gryffindor because the Head Boy and Girl were late. But James needed to speak to Lily. It was a practical lesson, so James, Lily, Sirius, and Emma were all at the same table, making the same Draught of Peace. 

            "Lily. Ask anyone. I never went out with her!"

            "Yes, you did."

            "Okay, I went out with her before we were together; I went out with her a year ago."

            "No."

            "Ask Sirius. Ask anyone."

            "Okay. I'll ask Katie." And Lily walked up to Katie.

            "Hey, Katie!"

            "Hello." Katie smiled evilly.

            "Erm…I heard you and James are going out?"

            "Yep."

            Unfortunately, Wendy, the fool, forgot about the fake note and ruined everything.

            "Huh? Katie? You and James?"

            Katie glared at her.

            "Oh! The fake note you wrote! Oh…woops…" Wendy said sheepishly. (A/N: sheep are cool!)

            Lily wanted to slap them both. Hard. Returning to her table, once again, Lily sighed and broke into tears, onto James shoulder.

            "I'm so sorry James!" Lily sobbed into James's shoulder. 

             James' face soon turned to a look of sadness, and he put his arms around Lily. "Shh, Lil, you don't have to be sorry-'' 

            "Yes I do James!" Lily sobbed into his shirt. "I was a bitch to you…I know why you hate me James!" Lily said, sobbing uncontrollably.

            "I don't hate you, Lily. Why would I hate you?"

            "Because…I've been a bitch. But no one hates _you_. Everyone loves you James! You're Head Boy, Quidditch Captain, Ringleader of the Marauders, most wanted guy in the whole of Hogwarts. Girls wanna marry to you. Guys are jealous of you. " Lily said, pulling away from James' grip, but James held her back.

            "Lily, you know I'm not all that. _I_ used to think I was, but I was wrong. I was a selfish, stubborn jerk and I've learned to change. But you Lily, you're wonderful. You're smart, popular, funny, caring, and beautiful."

            "No, I'm not."

            "Ten more points deducted from Gryffindor. As interesting as your lives may be, do not discuss it in my class." Professor Armadillo grunted. 

            When he was gone, Lily said, "I'm not pretty, James."

            "I didn't say you were. I said you were beautiful. No, wait, you're better than beautiful, you are—"

            "Stop…I'm not."

            "Yes, you are. And I love you very, very much."

A/N: Aw I didn't like this chapter…did you? Be a responsible reader and review! Please? I PROMISE I will update sooner! =]


	5. Planning A Party

Disclaimer: Yeah right, you really thought I owned Harry Potter? 

A/n: People have practically been verbally harassing me on AIM for "stealing" parts of the last chapter from another person's fic? Well, sorry, but I actually saw the parts in one of my reviewer's username profile, and she said it was okay for me to use it in my story, and she was like "oh no, you don't need to give me credit.". her username is PoTtErLiCiOuS …I asked her where she got it from, but she says she made most of it up. Either she is lying, or… I'm an idiot? Don't hate me! On with the story!

Chapter Five: Preparing a Party

            "Lily…are you still mad at me?" James looked questionably at Lily.

            "Whaddaya think?" Lily smiled at James. 

            "I think…I like pie! Do you like pie? Cuz I just love pie!"          

            Lily rolled her bright green eyes. She flipped her hair over her shoulder. She titled her head sideways. James loved that about Lily. She was smart, funny, sensitive, caring, beautiful, popular, admired, fashionable…James could go on forever about Lily.      

            James was staring at Lily, his eyes deep, and he sat down. He was at ease. Lily loved that about him. He was always at ease. Nothing riled him up…except Lily, of course. But Lily riled everyone up, of course. 

            Well, guess what. It was Lily's birthday in two days, and James had no idea what to get her. Sure, he had gotten her gifts since first year, but this year wasn't any year…this year they were the new _IT_ thing. They were _one_. It wasn't _just_ Lily Evans or _just_ James Potter…it was LilyandJames. They were the _new it thing_. And James didn't know what special thing to get Lily. He needed advice. But, there was a Prefect Meeting, and Lily and James had to be there in ten minutes.

**at the prefect meeting**

            "So, Professor Dumbledore, what are we discussing today," asked Lily. 

            "There is no new business, Miss Evans, but Mister Potter has told me he would like to address this meeting alone, with you out of the room. I have agreed."

            Lily raised her eyebrows and glanced at James. He smiled nervously. _He looks so cute when he's nervous_.  And she left. 

            "So. I'm not gonna talk about school or projects like we usually do. This is more…err…practical. Anyone have idea's what I should get Lily for her birthday?"

            Dumbledore shook his head slowly, grinning. He, too, left the room, with an unapproving McGonagall behind him.

            Someone said, "You could take her and shag her in the Astronomy Tower! I did that with my girlfriend." James gave this prefect a glare. He knew Lily would never allow that, and he wasn't too interested in shagging her, himself. Sure, he used to shag a different girl a day, but that was before he changed. At least, I think I changed.

            "No, I will not shag her. I need something PRACTICAL."

            "Whipped cream?"

            James rolled his eyes. "No. More like…a fancy dinner and chocolates…gazing at the stars and laughing—"

            "That's queer, Potter." 

            "Yeah? Alright, then, this meeting is dismissed."

**in the boys dormy**

            "Rem, I need your help. I want to give Lily something for her—"        

            "WHAT? You're asking REMUS for help and not me?" Sirius looked hurt. "It's always Remus this and Remus that. I get no appreciation." 

            Ignoring Sirius, James continued. "I want to give Lily something extra special for her birthday."

            "Err…I'm not good with gifts, you better ask Sirius."

            James raised his eyebrow.

            Sirius clapped happily.

            "Why would I ask Sirius that, Rem?"

            Remus answered, "Well, Sirius goes out with a new girl every two days, Prongs! Use some common sense! Padfoot HAS to buy gifts all the time!"

            "Oh. Right. _Alrighty then_, Padfoot, pal, Whaddaya think I should get her?"

            "Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure", Sirius sang.

            "Padfoot, as your best friend, I am begging you to tell me! Tomorrow is Hogsmeade day, I need to find something by the end of tomorrow!"        

            "You're silly."

            "PADFOOT! JUST TELL ME!"

            "Hee Hee you look like a donkey when you're mad!"

            James cursed, and walked out of the dorm, as Sirius yelled "Hold up, I'll meet you in the Great Hall in twenty minutes. I know exactly what you should get her!"

            Twenty Minutes later, Sirius had James following him to the Seventh Floor. 

            "Prongs, have you ever heard of the Room of Requirement?"

            "Yes…you did. You told me all about it."

            "Oh. So you know where it is, right?"

            "No, Padfoot. All you told me was how you used to kiss girls then dump em in that room."

            Sheepishly, Sirius grinned. Okay well…here it is. And Sirius told him how to get it to, and what to do.

            "So, after you get in here and all that, just…you know…have a dinner, anything expensive…all that mushy gushy shit, aiite? Oh, and at the very end of the night, give Lily a promise ring." 

            "Promise ring?"

            "Yeah. Those are purty rings you give to your true love, to promise them you'll always be together."

            "Padfoot, ol' pal, tell me. You date a different girl every other day. Or at least try to."

            "So? You used to also, before you found Lily. Or rather, before Lily found you." Sirius winked.

            "Yes, but we did find each other in the end, at least. Why don't you ever fall in love? Real love."

            "Like a love sick puppy?"

            "Padfoot…"

            "You really wanna know? Ok. Well, I never told you this…I never told anyone. Before my 'rents chucked me out of the house, and before I came to live with you…I liked a girl. I really did. I loved her…but she was a Death Eater. She didn't want to be one, but…well…you know…Voldemort would have killed her…I loved that girl, but…she betrayed me…and—"

            "You do know you're not making sense, right?"

            "I _loved _that girl, and she …"

            "She what?"

            "I…I… can't tell you."

            "And why not?"

            "…It hurts too much," Sirius muttered, and ran off.

            "OY! Padfoot!" James ran after him. 

A/N: be a responsible reader and REVIEW! Please? 

            Oh. Yes. And one of my friends wants me to write a another lily/james fic, … based on 'pirates of the Caribbean'…only lily is kidnapped by Voldemort, not pirates…I thought it was a queer idea…what do you think? Be nice and tell me! **hint hint REVIEW**


	6. Party Over Here! Woot Woot!

Disclaimer: Did you really thought I owned any of this?

A/N: Wee! Thanks everyone for reviewing! *hugs people randomly* I love hugs! Thanks for adding me to your favorites list and all! =] 

Chapter Six: Party Over Here! Woot Woot! 

            James was in awe. What was Sirius hiding from him? Unfortunately, as it was past curfew as James walked to the portrait of the fat lady, he was caught by Filch, who gave him a detention for the next day. He needed to plan Lily's surprise party! It was in one day! And the detention was to clean the Hospital Wing floor, without magic. And, James still needed to know what upset Sirius. So many things to do, so little time. 

            Instead of falling asleep, James grabbed his invisibility cloak and Marauders Map, and headed towards the Room of Requirement. As he was passing by, he noticed a small gap in between a humped witch and a wall. Tapping it, he whispered "Dissendium", and the gap widened. 

            James went through the tunnel for what seemed like an hour, but he soon was in the cellar of Honeydukes. Grabbing candy, chocolates, and prank items from all his favorite shops (and leaving money to pay for them), James scurried back to the tunnel, and ran to the Room of Requirement, where he sat up all night and made decorations and invitations. This would be one hell of a party! 

            The next day, before James's detention, invitations were secretly passed out to Remus, Peter, Sirius, and all the ELVES except Lily. James didn't have enough time to talk to Sirius, but Sirius was looking quite cheerful. 

            After detention, James checked up on Lily. She was sitting alone in the Common Room, with tears in her eyes. She was reading a letter. James went up to her.

            "Lily…? What's wrong, honey?"

            Lily handed James the letter.

_            Dear Ms. Evans, _

_                        It is my mournful task to inform you that your parents have been unrightfully killed by Lord Voldemort. This occurred yesterday at midnight. You and your sister have the right to decide on a date for the funeral. _

_                                                            Sincerely, _

_                                                                        The Minister of Magic     _

_                                                                                    Toby Maguire     _

            James hugged Lily._ I bet she doesn't want a party now_…And Lily cried herself to sleep, in James's arms. 

            The next day, Lily was dressed in all black. Her robes, her slacks, her shirt. James was down in the dumps. He worked so hard to plan Lily's party. Reluctantly, Lily came to the seventh floor to see what James wanted. She walked inside the Room, and to her surprise, all her friends jumped up and shouted "Happy Birthday Lily!". Lily broke into tears again.

            "Lily! Don't cry!"

            "Oh, stop it James! She's not crying-crying, she's happy crying," Emma said.

            Lily nodded, still crying. 

            And they partied. 

            And ate. 

            And Sirius got drunk. 

            But they partied. 

            And partied. 

            And when it was midnight, they stopped partying and urged Lily to open her gifts. 

            Peter had given Lily the latest romance novels. Remus had gotten her earring in the shape of lilies. Emma and Elizabeth had gotten her hair accessories. Vanessa gave her a purse with make-up inside, and Samantha got Lily an ipod. A magical ipod. And what did our dear ol' James give her? A promise ring, a promise necklace, a promise bracelet, and a promise toe ring.

            Lily gazed at James lovingly. 

            "I hope I didn't get carried away with all these…," said James.

            "Never," whispered Lily. And she put them all on.

            Sirius, still drunk, grabbed James and wildly started  dancing, and sang "You're so yesterday."  That was Lily's favorite song.

            James slapped Sirius silly, and grabbed his love and sang along. Laughing for the first time today, Lily sang too. "you're so yesterday, James," Lily whispered. 

            "We can be so yesterday together, love." And they danced the night away. 

A/N: woo sorry…that was VERY short…but I need to study for a geometry test…and I HATE geometry. Who doesn't? 


	7. Crazy

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Enjoy! Sorry it took a while for me to update…

Chapter Seven: Crazy

            Lily, despite her previous depression phase, was now feeling a lot better, thanks to James. Although it had taken a lot of persuasion to get Sirius to stop drinking, the party had been a great success. They were too tired to talk after the party, so they fell asleep at two AM. When James awoke, he went up to the girls dorm to get Lily.

            "Lily-kinks! Wake uppers!" 

            "Mmph…"

            "Breakfast time, my lady!"

            A sleepy Lily awoke. 

            "James? What do you like most about me?"

            "Um…. You're practical."

            _Practical? That was my best quality? Men were to yearn, pant, and sigh for me because I was practical?_

            "What?" Lily bleated.

            " What I mean is…you're not on a fast track…like Elizabeth. Or stuck on reverse, like Vanessa," James answered.

            _Fast track? Reverse? What were we, cars? Elizabeth was probably a BMW, and Vanessa could be a station wagon…but what was I? A Honda?_

            "Also, Lils, you look great…," James continued.

            "I look good? Like a cupcake? James, I'm not a car, and I'm not edible."

            "Will you please let me finish? Okay. I like your hair. And your feet, and arms. And your smile. Especially your smile. That's was I like about you, Lily. Your hair, dimple-y smile, and green eyes. Okay? How'd I do?"

            "Better. But what about my sweetness? And smartness? And that I'm caring, nice, sensitive—", Lily started.

            "But you know what I love most?"

            "My sexy body? Throaty laugh?"

            "No. The fact that you're not phony. That's something I can't stand in a girl. When she tries to act like somebody else, or look like someone else. Or she dresses just to impress. I always wonder why they try so hard." James smiled at Lily.

            "I love you, James, even though you're really crazy.."

            "Yeah.  Let's eat."

            Meeting up with her fellow ELVES in the Great Hall, Lily saw Emma, who had her face hidden.

            "LILY!"

            Hurrying over, Lily asked what was wrong.

            "WHAT'S WRONG? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG!"

            Professor McGonagall, sitting at the Great Table, shot a look at Emma, whose face was still buried in her arms.

            "You wanna know what's wrong? Your dumbass boyfriend did this to me!"

            "What? James? What did he do?"

            "Look!"

            "Where?"

            "Here!" Emma pointed at her face, which was now covered by her robes.

            "Where? There?"

            "Here!"

            "I don't see anything, Emma…maybe if you lower your robes…"

            "BAH! SEE!"

            Ignoring more glares from Professor McGonagall, Emma raised her head. 

            Lily gasped.

            On Emma's forehead were the words "James Potter Was Here." Well, they weren't really _words_. It was a bunch of pimples, arranged together to make a sentence. 

            Lily looked over at James, who winked back at her, then disappeared. Then she turned back to Emma.

            "Emma…I'm really sorry, I'll talk to him…"

            "Yeah, you better! How am I supposed to show my face in public?"

            "Err…there he is…Let me talk to him, okay? I'm sure there's a counter-jinx thing."    

            Lily ran over to James, to kissed her hello.

            "Wassssupp Lilykins?"

            "James, what did you do to Emma?"

            James gave an evil grin, a twinkle in his dark brown eyes. He chuckled. 

            "Well? James, she's really upset. Please, please just tell me the counter-jinx, okay?"

            "I can't." James smiled mischievously.

            Lily was getting annoyed. "And why not?"

            "Cuz I'm not sure what the counter-jinx is, babes."

            "James Harold Potter, you better find out what it is before classes start, otherwise you are one dead wizard!"

            "Eh? But classes start in seven minutes!"

            "Exactly."

            James, grumbling, asked Remus what the counter-jinx was, who told Lily.

            Lily fixed Emma up, but not before being late for Potions class. Professor Armadillo took twenty points away from Gryffindor. 

            "Now, if these two are done disrupting my class, … you should all have turned in your homework on the Draught of Peace. Miss Evans, where is your homework?"

            Emma spent the rest of the day giving James glares. But, he was oblivious to this.

            "Aw, Emma, why hold a grudge? It was just a prank? What's the biggie?"

            "BAH! Let's go Lily…"

            As they were leaving, along with Elizabeth, Vanessa, and Samantha, James muttered something, and a jet-like stream of rainbow colors shot towards Vanessa. Her hair, her beautiful long blonde hair, was now red, orange, indigo, and yellow. It was also short. Very short. As in "it-only-comes-until-my-ears" short. Yeah. That short.

            "POTTER! YOU'RE DEAD," Vanessa screamed. She chased James around the Great Hall, where they were eating lunch. Lily sighed. James was acting so immature.

            When James had changed Vanessa's hair back to normal, Lily pulled him aside. 

            "James! What do you think you're doing?"

            "Just having some fun!"

            "James, please, don't!"

            "They're just little pranks! No one's getting hurt…"

            "James…just don't. Please."

            "Yeah…fine…okay," said James, half-heartedly.

            Lily gave a feeble smile and left, trying to calm Vanessa down.

            Unfortunately, James had played seven more pranks that day, including turning Lily's owl, James Jr., into a frog. That was it for Lily. Her temper flew, but she was a redhead. That's what fiery redheads do. 

            "James, I told you to lay off!"

            "Yeah? I lied!"

            "I thought you changed James, I really did…"

            "Aw, come off it, Lily! You were fine this morning!"

            "I'm always fine, James. It's you that's never fine!"

            "Of course. It's all me, babay," James said as he wriggled his eyebrows.

            "Forget you!"

            "Lily, come on! I'm sorry, okay? What's the big deal? It was all for fun! Wasn't it a scream?"

            "WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?"

            "Ya. What's the dealio?"

            "I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THE DEALIO IS. YOU DON'T RESPECT ME, JAMES POTTER!"

            "Can you stop yelling, please? People are staring."

            "LET THEM STARE!"

            "You're such a spoilsport!"

            Lily muttered to herself, trying to calm down. "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out."

            James sniggered. "You sound like a pregnant woman! _'Breathe in, breathe out.'_"

            "FORGET YOU, POTTER."

            Sirius came along.

            "I reckon this is the part where she breaks up with you, Prongs,"  he whispered. 

            James waved his hand, impatiently. "Why would she break up with me?"

            "BECAUSE YOU ARE AN IMMATURE CALLOW PERSON!"

            "Callow?"

            "I think it means you're young and inexperienced," whispered Sirius.

            "Lily! You think I'm inexperienced? I have had it, before, you know. I am NOT inexperienced." James grumbled.

            "I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU, POTTER. GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE!"

            And Lily walked away.

A/N: aaah this wasn't a very good chapter, was it? I don't like it…leave reviews and let me know! The more reviews I get, the faster the updates! =] 


	8. Silly Lily

Disclaimer: Hahah, right, like you really thought I owned Harry Potter?!? 

A/N: So sorry for the long pause in updating!

Chapter 8:  Silly Lily

            Lily had been doing her best to forget James, but she it wasn't working. Everyone had tried to cheer her up, but it was Amos Diggory who tried the hardest. 

            "Lily, why the long face," asked Amos.

            Lily sighed. "James Potter."

            "Ah…well, don't let him keep you down. I always thought of telling you dump that git, but you always seemed so…happy." 

            Lily smiled weakly. "Yuh huh…"

            "Well…there's a Hogsmeade trip this Saturday…I was wondering if you'd like to come with me." Amos held his breath hopefully.

            _I really don't like Amos…he's just a friend…but he looks so…hopeful…maybe just this once… and maybe I could make James jealous…then he'll see… _

            "Ok, I'd love to."

            And Amos walked away, feeling absolutely chipper. 

            Lily caught up with Emma. "Hey Emma!" 

            "Hey! I saw you talking with Diggory…what's up?" Emma winked.    

            "Oh, it's nothing…well, it is something. He asked me to go with him to Hogsmeade this Saturday."

            "Uhm…I thought you didn't like Diggory?" 

            Lily thought of telling Emma her plan of making James jealous…but she wanted to keep it a secret. "He's ok…nice, funny, smart, sweet, caring…the usual."

            "He's a pretty-boy if you ask me!"

            And the conversation ended there, because James had just passed by, determined not to notice Lily. But inside, he was hurt. He had asked Sirius a number of times to ask Lily why she was mad, but Lily had pushed Sirius away each time. James was dejected. And Sirius was definitely not helping.

            "Sirius, ask her one last time, will you?"

            "Aw, ok."

            And Sirius disappeared for a while.

            "Ok!"

            "Did you ask?"

            "Ask what?"

            "Ask Lily, Sirius!"

            "Ask Lily?? I thought you meant ask McGonagall!"

            "WHAT? What did you ask McGonagall?"

            "Um…"

            "Well?"

            "I sorta forgot…"

            "GAH! Oh! Here comes Lily...ask her…quick…" And James walked away, quickly, giving them privacy.

            "Hi Lily," Sirius said in a falsely cheerful voice.

            "Sirius, I need to get to Charms in three minutes, will you move?"

            "Do you know the muffin man?"

            "Sirius, I'm really not in the mood, ok?"

            "He lives on Drury Lane, yunnoe!"

            Lily tried walking around Sirius, but he wasn't moving. He was singing. "Do you know the muffin man? The muffin man, the muffin man!"

            "Yes, I know the muffin man, ok? Now please move!"        

            "Ok! Bye!"

            James came out of his hiding place, aghast. "Sirius! What was that about?"

            "I dunno. We better get to Charms, mate." 

            Groaning in disgust, James followed Sirius, who was merrily singing songs. 

            It was time for Lily's date with Amos Diggory. To be honest, Lily was not looking forward to it. She had said yes to Amos to get James jealous, but to her it looked like James didn't give a damn about her anymore. 

            "Lily…you look…marvelous…simply stunning," Amos breathed.

            Lily raised her eyebrows. She was wearing jeans and a green sweater. And no make-up. Amos was easily pleased. 

            They spent the day roaming around in shops, and Amos had dragged Lily to Madam Puddifoot's, where he bought Lily coffee. He didn't know that Lily hated coffee. She just liked mocha. White chocolate mocha, with whipped cream. Lily loved sharing her mocha's with James…but he never acted his age…he acted his shoe size…which was 9 ½. 

            James had just walked inside. He looked frantic, almost hysterical. His hair was more untidy than usual, and his eyes were round. His face was pale, and he looked around, looking for someone he could talk to. His eyes landed on Sirius, who was making out with a Hufflepuff bimbo, and then his eyes rested on Lily, who was determined not to look back. But, James never took no for an answer. He strode over to Lily, talking fast.

            "Lily, please, can I have a moment alone?"

            Lily ignored him, but Amos replied for her.

            "She's with me, Potter."

            "I need to talk to her. Please. It's very…important…please."

            The urgency in his voice caused Lily to respond somewhat reluctantly.

            "What is it?"

            "I need to talk to you in private."

            "I'm sure that's not necessary…say it here."

            "Lily, please, I—"

            "Say it or leave, James. I'm busy."

            James narrowed his eyes, and hissed at Lily, "You bitch…". And he ran over to Sirius, who reluctantly pulled apart from the bimbo.

            "Sirius…my parents…they're…they're…"

            "What? They invited us over for the hols?"

            "Voldemort's holding my parents hostage for something."


	9. When in Doubt

Disclaimer: Hahah, right, like you really thought I owned Harry Potter?!? 

          "Sirius…my parents…they're…they're…"

          "What? They invited us over for the hols?

          "Voldemort's holding my parents hostage for something." 

          "Oh my gawd…no…what, I mean, why…how…"

          "I don't know Sirius…the Minister just owled me…Dumbledore won't let me go talk to the Aurors …but I  need to go… someone to go with me .. come with me…"

          "Oh my gawd, James, I am so sorry…I don't know how this could happen…But…I can't go with you! You know about my parents, and I—"

          "I know, Sirius…I wanted to take Lily, I need to get there right away, but she wont talk to me…"

          Remus ran over to the troubled two, saying, "James, Dumbledore told me, I know all about it…Peter too! I am dreadfully sorry, but, you know that if I turn into a werewolf I'll be dead meat, if those Aurors catch me, and…you know?"

          No one was making any sense. No one spoke in complete sentences. Peter piped up, "I'll go with you!" James nodded. 

          James, eyes blurry, ran back to his dorm, bumping into teachers, knocking down first-years. He quickly scribbled a note.                                         _Dear Professor Dumbledore, _

                             I know that you didn't give me permission to see the Aurors, but I must talk to them, ask questions, and I'm sure that they want answers from me too. I'm taking Lily Evans with me. I'll do my best to protect her…she's not the one that Voldemort wants…it's me. She doesn't deserve to die. 

_                                      Please don't inform the school about this trip, _

_                                                          James Potter_

          Peter said, "You-Know-Who doesn't want you, he kidnapped your parents! Why would he want you?" James didn't respond, but Sirius and Remus glanced at each other. 

          "C'mon Peter, you tell Lily that Amos wants her in the field ASAP, and then I'll grab her and I'll pull her onto my broom, ok?"

          "What about me?"

          "Fool, you take your broom and zoom after me, ok? GO!"

          So little Peter ran as fast as his little legs would let him, gasping for breath as he caught Lily on the stairway. "Lily! Amos wants to speak to you…it's quite urgent!"  

          "Oh, darn! Um, tell him that I'm busy…please."

          "No! I mean…it's very very urgent…he wont take no for an answer…its about…err…about your parents…?"

          Is something wrong" Are they okay? Ohmigod, oh no…ok…take me there!"

          As Lily walked, James grabbed her, and pulled her onto his broom. She had screamed, and James started, "Lily, please, just listen to me.."

          "GET AWAY FROM ME! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??"

          "SSHHH! Lily, please, I'm begging you, I've never asked you for anything before, Lily, just please…listen…" There was a loud silence. "Thank you. My parents are being held hostage by Voldemort and I need to talk to the Aurors and ask them some questions and I wanted you to come with me, so I go grabbed you, and I know that he is after me, not my parents, I just have this feeling inside of me, and…well there is a lot that I need to tell you—"

          "Ohmigod James I am so sorry, I'm sorry for everything, and I—"

          "Lily, its fine, but this isn't really the time for this! You see…I have these…dreams. Only they aren't dreams, I've just realized! I mean….it's so hard to explain…I see things in my sleep, either before they happen, or while they happen, and –"

          "Ohmigod! Ohmigod, James! You mean you take Occlumency?"

          "No, I don't, but Dumbledore suggested it to me, and … we're here!" 

          "Maybe I should wait here, because—"

          "No, come on, Lils, I need you."

          "It might be a little uncomfortable and –-"

          "Lils, come on!"        

          Lily felt like an intruder. Intruding upon James's grief. She watched hopelessly as James talked to the Aurors. She heard bits of their conversation.

          "Mister Potter, we assure you that we are doing out best to locate the where-about of You-Know-Who."

          James grumbled loudly but there was nothing he could do to convince the Aurors to converse with him. "Please, just—"

          "Good day, Mister Potter."

          Cursing, James grabbed Lily and dashed out of the building. 

          James didn't know what to do. His mind was in turmoil. Should he take Lily back to school, or take her to his house, or what? He finally decided on taking her to a secluded forest, so he could get some things off his chest. 

          A/N: Yes, I know. VERY disappointing chapter. I'm sorry, really, it is so not my fault! I'm just…never free, yunnoe?! 


	10. The Portal

Disclaimer: HA. Yeah RIGHT. You really thought I owned Harry Potter?

A/N: Oh dear. I haven't updated forever. High school started. PRIVATE high school. Catholic private high school. Which I hate. I've been going to private school since preschool. Someone explain to me what public schools are like? Well, school is so much work. I'll probably only be updating once every two months. You know, this concept of "homework" really must die.

**I Love You, But I Hate You, I'm Stuck On You**

**Chapter Ten: The Portal **

James didn't know what to do. His mind was in turmoil. Should he take Lily back to school, or take her to his house, or what? He finally decided on taking her to a secluded forest, so he could get some things off his chest.

He looked around for Lily, and saw her standing idly, staring into space.

"Hey, um..Lily? Can we talk?"

Lily took James' hand and they set towards a path nearby.

"Well, the Aurors told me nothing. And, um, well" Leaves crackled behind the couple. "What was that?" James whizzed around.

"It's just leaves, James. What were you saying?"

"No, someone's there. I can feel it. Thereâ€near that tree."

"James, please. Don't be so paranoid. You're acting so strangely nowadays. You really have changed. Lily observed, "You changed, James. I don't think it's very normal of you to change like this. In this week, you've said more than you've ever said in two years."

"Yes, yes I am overreacting." Someone whistled. "Who's there?" James shouted, running towards the trees where the noise was coming from, with a distraught Lily chasing after him.

And James ran right into a tree, and Lily followed close behind. This wasn't just any tree. It was the tree. Which happened to be a portal.

"J-James," said Lily shaking, "where are we?" James grabbed her hand, and she noticed the look of worry in his eyes.

"I don't know, Lily, but stay close, okay? I'm getting a bad feeling," he said.

They were in a graveyard.

Suddenly they heard a sound. It sounded like the crunch of a leave. James and Lily immediately turned around, and saw dark, cloaked figures coming out of the trees. They looked at each other, and James said, "Run!" They started the other way, but the cloaked figures came out of that side as well. The figures started walking towards them, and Lily and James saw that they were trapped.  
Just then, a pale, scary-looking man with red eyes came out of the trees. "Ah, Potter, Evans." His voice sounded so eerie, so scary. Lily wanted to just wake up from this horrible nightmare.

"What do you want?" James asked the man.

"James, no need to have such a rude tone with me. After all, you don't want to upset Lord Voldemort, now do you?" said the man.  
Lily paled. She started twitching. Muttering. This man had killed her parents.  
Lily saw that James now staring at the man very hatefully. "What do you want?!?" James asked, showing that he didn't care who this man was. Lily saw a flicker of anger in those cold, gray eyes, but it disappeared.

"Oh so we're going to be defiant now, are we?" said Voldemort. "Release this boy," Voldemort said to the cloaked figures, who looked at each other, and then released James.  
"Now, James, why are you acting so cruel to me? You don't even know me, but you should know that I am one of the greatest wizards alive," said Voldemort.  
James walked up to him. There was no longer fear in his eyes, but instead anger and hate.  
"I know who you are. You killed Lily's parents. You tried to kill my father. You kill people. You're not a wizard. You're nothing more than a murder," James said, and the anger filled up in Voldemort's eyes.

"How dare you," said Voldemort, glaring at James, who glared right back. Lily's heart sank.

Lily started weeping at Voldemort. He had killed so many innocent people. She struggled to get free from the figures holding her, and Voldemort saw this. "Ah, release the mud-blood as well," he said.  
James pulled for his wand, but Voldemort looked at him and said, "I wouldn't do that James."

James glared at him. "And why shouldn't I?" he said

Lily walked up and stood next to James. "Because I still have to explain to you two why you are here." Lily and James looked at each other, and then back at Voldemort.  
"Well, one of my followers is a seer. He was in a trance one day, while I was with him, and he made a prophecy. Two people in the future would fight me, defeat me, and keep me from rising to power. The first was a beautiful, young muggle, with red hair and piercing green eyes. She would come to Hogwarts, where she would develop powers that no other witch ever possessed before. The second was a handsome young pure-blood. Jet black hair and blue eyes. He was the heir of Gryffindor, and he would do things that no one has done before. When together, their powers would be undefeatable, and they could do things that no witch or wizard has done before. Their names were Lily Evans, and James Potter," Voldemort finished.

James had heard this many, many times before. But he acted as surprised as Lily.

Voldemort continued. "Well you see, I just couldn't just let this prophecy come true, and I couldn't let you two defeat me. That is why I brought you here. I have finished off your parents. And now, if I kill you, then the prophecy can't come true, can it?"

James felt sick to his stomach. He felt like he had already died. His parents were gone.  
Lily fell to the ground, landing on a grave. So she was going to die today, was she? Without ever saying good bye to the people who mattered. Her parents. Elizabeth, Vanessa, Sirius, Kristin, Remus, Audrey, Petunia, (Petunia!?!?) and all her other friends at Hogwarts. At least she would see James before she died.

James saw Lily trembling, and felt himself shaking as well. He felt unbelievably angry. He wasn't going to let Voldemort kill the love of his life, or himself. He was not going to let Voldemort kill him, as he did his parents, because he refused to let his family suffer another loss.  
"No, Voldemort, you're not going to kill us. You weak, little murderer. I won't let you. You're nothing but a pathetic man who is desperate for power!" said James.  
Voldemort looked at him, seething. His eyes were blazing now. He looked at James with hate in his eyes that Lily had never seen before. James stared back bravely, without even flinching.  
"Just for that," said Voldemort, in a low quiet voice, "you're going to die first."


	11. I Believe in a Thing Called Love

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

A/N: Wow. I updated!

**I Love You, But I Hate You, I'm Stuck On You**

**Chapter Eleven: I Believe in a Thing Called Love**

"Just for that," said Voldemort, in a low quiet voice, "you're going to die first." James reached in his pocket for his wand, but Voldemort had already said, "Accio wand!" and James's wand came flying out of his pocket and into Voldemort's hand.  
James looked up at Voldemort, and Lily could see a bit of fear in his eyes. "Defenseless now, aren't we?" Voldemort said.  
Tears of anger started to well up in Lily's eyes. She wasn't going to let Voldemort ruin her life, and kill James. She slowly, slowly pulled her wand out of her pocket, making sure it wasn't noticeable.  
"Leave him alone you filthy thing!" Lily screamed at Voldemort. Voldemort looked at her and smiled. "Be quiet, Lily. You're next," he said, grinning like a maniac.  
With that, he turned to James and said, "Get ready to feel pain that you have never felt before!" screamed Voldemort, and with that, he rose up his wand, and shouted a spell.  
To Lily, time had seemed to slow down as she saw the spell aiming towards James. She ran in front of him, screaming "No! Not James! Take me instead!" Then, she shouted the only spell she could think of at the time.  
Lily felt excruciating pain as they spell hit her in the chest. She knew this must be the end, and that she was going to die. She couldn't hold on any longer.  
The last thing she saw before the world blackened around her was Voldemort screaming, and falling to the ground. Two black circles were floating in mid-air. Lily could hardly see them, however, because they were very blurry.  
There was something moving underneath them, and sound was coming out. She heard the words "Lily!"  
Lily blinked several times. Slowly the vision of James came into focus. "James?" she asked, uncertainly. She thought for a moment that she might be in Heaven.  
James smiled. "How are you feeling?" he asked. "Numb," Lily said. Then she looked at her surroundings, and observed that she was in the hospital wing. She also noticed James was in hospital robes, as was she.  
"James what is going on? Why are we in the hospital wing? What happened?" Lily asked him.  
James laughed. "Slow down, slow down. I can't answer all your questions at once," he said.

"Sorry," Lily said smiling.  
"So what happened James? Are you alright?" Lily said. James opened his mouth to speak but the hospital wing doors opened and Dumbledore walked in.  
"Ah, Miss Evans! I'm delighted to see that you're okay!" said Dumbledore walking over to the two students.  
"Thanks, Professor," said Lily, "but I'm a little confused about what happened." Dumbledore smiled. "That is why I am here Miss Evans. Now get comfortable, this might take a little while."  
Lily inhaled a breath, and prepared to hear what Dumbledore was going to tell her. "Well as you now know, Voldemort is trying to gain followers, and rise to power. One of his followers made a prophecy about you two," Dumbledore said, looking at Lily and James and smiling. "The prophecy said that you two would stand up to Voldemort and defeat him, and that you would prevent him several times from rising to power. You probably already know this, since Voldemort told you." The couple nodded.  
"Well," Dumbledore went on, "one of his servants- I don't know who- put a spell on the portal, for they knew you would be going to the Ministry of Magic. The portal was to take you two, and you two only, to a forest, where he was hiding."  
Lily was speechless about this, as well as James, who hadn't known about that either. Who could that servant have been?  
"Well Lily, James was lucky to have someone like you that loved him so much, that you were willing to give your life to save his. When you jumped in front of him, you received the full blast of that spell. But I believe you shot one at him as well. What was it again?" Dumbledore asked.  
"I don't really remember, Professor. I just shot the first one that came to mind, but I can't even remember what it is," said Lily.  
"I remember," James spoke up. "It was Punctilious. Lily when you shot that at him, it somehow caused him pain. He screamed in pain and then he just collapsed onto the ground."  
Lily was stunned. "How could that have happened? All that spell does is cause a person to feel lightheaded," she said.  
"Yes this I know," said Dumbledore. "But there was more behind the spell you cast on Voldemort than that," Dumbledore said. James and Lily both looked at him strangely. He smiled.  
"You see, Lily, when you cast that spell on Voldemort, behind it was all the love that you had for James. You didn't want him to die so you used all your power to protect him. And his love was so strong for you also, and he was really worried when you jumped in front of him. That's how you defeated Voldemort. He has nothing but hate inside of him. When that spell came towards him, it was so full of your love to each other that it caused him horrible pain," Dumbledore concluded.  
Lily and James were both speechless. Dumbledore smiled at their faces. Then Lily had another question.  
"Professor," she said.

"Yes, Miss Evans?" said Dumbledore.

Lily hesitated. "H-How come that spell didn't kill me?"  
"Well," said Dumbledore, "I believe it caused you lots of pain? Yes? However, Voldemort's spell couldn't kill you because you had just sent your spell to him, that was full of love for James; the love was still inside you when the spell hit you. And James's love for you was also giving you strength. You see, Voldemort's spells are full of so much hate; and because of this, his spells are very powerful. But the only thing that can hurt Voldemort is love, Lily, and you had plenty of it inside of you."  
Lily smiled at Dumbledore, and then smiled at James. She was so glad that he was here with her, and that he was okay, and James was thinking the same thing about Lily.  
"So what happened after that?" Lily asked.

"Well," said Dumbledore, "I'm sorry but I have an important meeting to get to. I'm sure that Mr. Potter can explain the rest to you. I'll see you two later. I must go tell Madame Pomfrey that you're okay now, Miss Evans. Goodbye," said Dumbledore. And with that, he left to go inform Madame Pomfrey that Lily was awake.  
James grabbed Lily's hand as soon as Dumbledore was out of sight, and kissed her. Lily smiled. "What was that for?" she asked.  
"For saving my life," said James, looking serious.

Lily smiled. "Anytime," she said, jokingly.

"So, what happened after that James?" Lily asked him.  
"Well, Voldemort fell to the floor and he didn't move. Some of his followers got scared, I guess, because they ran off. Some of them started coming near us, though, so I just shot off spells at the top of my head. " said James, as Lily shuddered.  
"I dodged it though, don't worry. I just sent more spells at them and finally they got scared off. After they left, this greenish portal thing appeared. So I picked you up and went through the portal. When we got out the other side, we were in this secret wizard part of the airport again, and there were hundreds of people standing around. Then Will, Sirius, Kristin, Remus, and Audrey came running at us. The wizard guards (police men) had to hold everyone else back. Dumbledore was there too, and he looked really worried," said James.  
"What happened after that?" Lily asked. "Sirius came running up asking if we were alright. He told me they had all gotten really worried when we didn't come back as planned. But then the Auror who I was talking to in the office, ... he had followed us. He went through right after us, worried. He said this scene of a dark forest flashed for a second before he landed in the muggle area of the airport. Then a medical wizard car came and they carried you out on one of those stretchers since you were still unconscious. Everyone was worried sick. So the rest of us, and Dumbledore rode back to Hogwarts in this car thing and they carried you up to the hospital wing. And now, you're awake," James finished.


	12. THE END

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

A/N: This is the last chapter. This story was so much fun to write. Thank you to everyone to reviewed.

**I Love You, But I Hate You, I'm Stuck On You**

**Chapter Twelve: **

"Oh my gosh James," said Lily, "I can't believe it. Actually I can't believe I'm still here."

James frowned. "Ah Lily Flower, don't even say that. I felt so bad after what happened to you. I held your hand the whole way to Hogwarts, and I was so worried about you," said James.  
Lily smiled. "I'm glad that I have somebody like you to worry about me," she told James. They went into a passionate kiss, and afterwards, both felt much better.  
"So how long have I been unconscious for James?" Lily asked him.

"Well it's been about a week," James said.

"Oh my gosh! That's horrible! What about all my classes and-," Lily said, but James interrupted her.  
"Don't worry Lily, all your teachers excused you, and me from our work because of what happened," James said.  
Madame Pomfrey came hustling in looking very distressed. "Oh, dear I'm so happy that you're awake. I've been so worried about you." Lily smiled at her.  
"Thanks Madame Pomfrey," Lily said.

"Hey what about me? Don't you get worried about me?" James asked grinning.  
Madame Pomfrey laughed. "Well you're here so often for Quidditch injuries that I've gotten used to you, James," she said. Lily and James both laughed.  
"And James get back in your bed! I'm not going to let you out of here until I'm positive that you have gotten enough rest," Madame Pomfrey stated.  
James groaned. "Oh come on, I feel fine," he said. He didn't seem to convince Madame Pomfrey however. "No, you're staying here one more night, Mr." she said.  
Lily grinned. "Come on James, I need company anyway."

James smiled. "Fine, one more night, but after that, if I don't get out of this place, I'm going to explode! I need to do something with all of my energy!"  
Madame Pomfrey laughed. "Well, if you want to get out of here, then I suggest you get some rest." With that, she gave medicine to both Lily and James, and then left to give them some time alone.  
"Oh by the way Lily, did you see all the gifts everyone has sent you?" James asked. "No, where are they?" Lily said looking surprised.  
James grinned as he pointed to a large table that had been conjured up near her bed. It was stacked with wrapped presents, chocolates, candies, teddy bears, flowers, balloons, cards, and all sorts of other things.  
Lily smiled. "Oh my goodness! I can't believe that's all for me!" Lily said. James grinned.  
"Well, Dumbledore sent a letter to your parents, who were going to come visit you, but didn't because of your horse-looking sister who refused to come. They sent you a big vase of flowers and a teddy bear," James said.  
Lily laughed. She knew Petunia would refuse to come here, even if she had almost died. "Oh yeah, and St. Mungo's sent you a box of chocolates. Sirius bought you a huge teddy bear," James said laughing, and pointing at a giant teddy bear. Lily grinned. Typical Sirius.  
James went on. "Let's see, Elizabeth and Vanessa bought you a new outfit with a necklace that they said you loved or something. Remus bought you some muggle and balloons. Dumbledore got you some chocolate frogs. The Ministry of Magic sent you a set of books that they knew you would love.  
"Oh that's so sweet of them!" Lily said, examining her pile of presents.

"Oh yeah," said James, "and like tons of the famous clothing stores sent you free clothes. And some make up place sent you a whole gift bag of stuff. You should see it, it's huge! Plus, you've gotten like 50 boxes of chocolate, teddy bears, and candy from half the guys at school. A bunch of them came to visit you but I kind of scared them off," James said grinning. Lily laughed.  
"I can't believe that people sent me all this stuff! How did they know about it?" Lily asked James. "Well somehow the media found out, and it's been all over the newspapers. It was on the cover of the Daily Prophet three times. You shoulda seen it Lily, it was great. Your and my picture was on the front and we were waving stupidly," James said.  
"Really James?" Lily asked laughing.

"Yeah," he said, "and there were all these stories about our relationship and stuff. Most of the wizarding magazines have put us on their front cover. And all these reporters came to the school to do stories, and they were like swarming Sirius, Remus, Vanessa, and Elizabeth. They were asking them all these questions about us and how we were doing, and when we started going out. Then Sirius told them all to get a life. It was something funny. And then a reporter from 'Teen Witch' snuck in here and tried to interview me, but Madame Pomfrey kicked her out. It was hilarious!"  
Lily began laughing really hard. "Oh I'm so mad I missed it!" she said. Then she noticed the table beside James bed.  
"Oh James you received a lot of gifts, too?" Lily asked grinning.

"Oh yeah! I forgot! Lils I got the coolest things! All these Quidditch stores sent me magazines and I've gotten like five new brooms, and lots and lots of food! And of course I got these little love notes and balloons from the girls. They were so tacky. Then they came to visit me and they wouldn't leave me alone!" James said.  
Lily laughed. "Well they better have known that if I had woken up I would have sent their butts flying out of here!" Lily said.

"Yeah you bet," said James. Then his eyes lit up.  
"What is it?" Lily asked. "I forgot to tell ya, Lils. The Chuddley Cannons sent me the seeker's broom, and they all signed it!" James exclaimed.  
"That's great James!" Lily said. James nodded. They spent the whole rest of the day lying in Lily's bed together, and talking.

James awoke very early the next morning to find a beautiful bright sunny day. He glanced over to the bed beside him and saw Lily lying awake.  
"Morning Lily," he said, grinning at her.

"Finally awake I see," Lily said. "I've been waiting for a while for you to get up!"  
James grinned. "Well I'm up now so that's all that matters!" Lily rolled her eyes. "Whatever James," she said laughing at them, then jumping on top of him, kissing him soflt.y  
At noon when Lily and James had both taken their potions, Madame Pomfrey finally allowed them to leave the hospital wing.  
Lily and James looked like to 5-year-olds when they were racing each other down the hallway to have breakfast in the Great Hall.  
They arrived in the Great Hall breathless, and received many cheers from the other students. Lily looked over and saw James trying not to look to proud of himself. She laughed.  
"Hey Lily, James! Get over here!" screamed Sirius. Lily and James ran over to their friends. Lily jumped on Sirius, who had his back turned from her and wasn't aware of her coming.  
"Sirius!" she squealed!

"Aaahhh!" Sirius screamed. The others broke into laughter. "Geeze Lily you gave me a heart attack!" he said. Lily grinned evilly.

James and Lily held hands.  
Then they all ran to the lake. All of them. James, Lily, Peter, Sirius, Remus, Emma, Samantha, Elizabeth, and Vanessa.

The nine supposedly mature eighteen-year-olds spent the whole day running around screaming and pushing each other in the lake.

THE END.

A/N: Well that was the best ending I could come up with. Make do with it.


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